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Kevin McDonald |
[
Biography][My favourite Kevin monologue][Filmography][Pictures]Hi. I'm Kevin Hamilton McDonald, and I'm about to stun you with a remarkable set of fact. Years ago, people discovered the astonishing similarities between John F. Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln. Well, I, too, have made another eerie discovery--the astonishing similarities between my family, the McDonalds and...The Airport movie series, starring such wonderful actors as Dean Martin, Burt Lancaster, and Charlton Heston.
Fact one: In the movie "Airport" the lead character is a salesman who decides to blow up the plane he is on so his wife can collect the insurance money. In the McDonald family, my father was a salesman. [SALESMAN on screen] Coincidence!?
Fact two: "Airport '75." In 1975, a sequel to the movie "Airport" is released starring Karen Black. In 1975, my mother dyes her hair...black! [BLACK on screen] Coincidence!?
Fact three: "Airport '77," a movie in which a large jumbo jet is trapped underwater. In 1977, I failed my superfish swimming test, because I can't hold my breath ten seconds underwater. I am also fat and therefore cruelly nicknamed "Jumbo." [JUMBO UNDERWATER on screen.] Coincidence!?
Fact four! "Airport '79"! A story of a bitter millionaire who sends a nuclear missile into space! ... Hey! What's? ... [brick wall collapses onto Kevin and knocks him onto the floor] I'm trapped! I'm trapped!
[Control room]
Man:Oh, sweet Jesus! The scene has crashed! I repeat, the scene has crashed! We need to get some help down there.
[Scott enters through hole in wall.]
Scott:Hang on Mr. McDonald. We're comin' for ya. Uh! Ah. Come on; get up. Don't give up.
[Kevin gets up.]
Kevin:Hey! Chuck Heston! Coincidence?
Scott:No, it's a madhouse!! A! Mad! House!!
[Scott laughs hysterically while Kevin looks uncomfortable.]
Notable TV guest appearances
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